And the worst part is
Before it gets any better
We're heading for a cliff
And in the free fall I will realize
I'm better of when I hit the bottom
12:30 AM
20091222
I hope days will be brighter for us ahead.
**
Right now im eating some pau that hun just passed me through the gate ^^ Love you long time. But so much for brushing my teeth.
Almost everyday after the extraction, eating or whatever that's got to do w the moving of the mouth is just tormenting. Now that the swelling has gone away and i no longer look like one squirrel/chipmunk, retracting my jaw is still a bitch. It's like ive to use 10x more muscles just to get it slightly open to put some (soft) food into my mouth. Srsly, all i wanna do is just enjoy my food and eat normally.
But even after everything, im still at risk of losing my left molar all thanks to 3(!1!11!) cysts that are festering the same time as when my wisdom tooth is growing. So much so that the dentist has to say "完蛋了". Shld have not drag it for so long, sigh. Thanks man, root canal anyone?
Hopefully after removing the stitches tomorrow will be so so so so much better for me.
Just a few days ago, when hun and i were finding some crocodile clips, we met these total strangers, one a shop owner and another, his friend, also an ex pilot. Started talking to us about values, lives, giving us great advices for us to ponder about when we left (albeit it was half hr gone by the time they finished their piece).
It's awesome sometimes isnt it, that you get to meet these kind of people whose paths you crossed just by sheer coincidence and yet are so willingly to share w you the different facets of life and giving us a glimpse of what being an adult is like.
Well, hopefully when the festive season gets nearer and nearer, things will start to look up again.
Honestly, right now, it isnt very good. I just wish our love stay strong.
3:32 AM
20091215
"I am crying about the elusive nature of love, the impossibilty of ever having someone so completely that he can fill up the hole, the gaping hole that for me right now is full of depression. I understand why people sometimes want to kill their lovers, eat their lovers, inhale the ashes of their dead lovers. I understand that this is the only way to possess another person with the kind of desperate longing that i have to take Rafe inside of me."
*
Now that the thought is sinking in, im quite scared about my surgery tmrw albeit sucha small one, oh and the degree of pain. No food + swollen gums = not being able to see you are my biggest worry. Sighs
Note to self:
x to borrow The Lovely Bones
x to read The Almost Moon, The Naked Truth
x to complete Prozac Nation
x to check off to do list
x to put my newly bought soccer ball to good use
x to visit Popular - buy notebook, pens, refills
x to read Time mags
x get mani pedi
x watch movies dled into macbk
x save $
x dont make my bf spend $ on me
x drop my ego
I can ttly feel a sore throat settling in..
12:58 AM
20091211
Im having this feeling whereby i just wanna go to slp so that tomorrow comes faster and then i'll get to see you.
But i've been in bed the whole day and i realise i feel sicker by not getting out of bed and do anything instead of going out and waste some time. I wonder why this is so.
It's my dad's 47th today. Everyone's getting high on their sake and all i wish was you w me. It'll be so much more fun.
Need to get some work done if not im gonna have an invisible L plastered to my forehead.
Ever had a moment where you just feel like screaming FUCKING SIAN.
That's what im feeling now
11:48 PM
20091207
"Honey, paramore coming to sg!!!" "Let's go"
Bomb or whuttttt?
11:58 PM
Im coming here so frequently, idk why.
Sometimes, i feel like im so busy, i cant even rmb when was the last time i stayed at home for a day, when deep down im so empty. Empty cos i feel like i havent accomplished much during these holidays.
Work, sure a little. Reading, yeah okay have been doing some good reading, but that's that. Hell, i havent even caught an episode of GG S3 or finish off my 90210 S1 wtfhhhhh. And im on the brink of being penniless. You know how it sucks to have to watch your every cent? It really suxxx
Im putting on my rubberbands again, need to have higher tolerance of the pain and my molar rings to stop loosening because the braces gotta come off soon man.
11:55 PM
20091205
HAHA, ttly apt for chancing upon this right after watching New Moon.
Saw the trailer of The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus too and trust me, i cant wait to watch it. Partly it's because Heath Ledger is starring in it right up till his death .. Sigh, life, v sad hor?
Just got reminded by my own bf that i eat alot when w him since he's sucha monster eater (albeit so skinny). Reminded because i alrdy know it as well. Please god, make me watch my weight. I can make a tri-layer cake w my stomach alrdy
Got so much to do and so little time. Sometimes it's like before you sleep, it suddenly dawns on you that time is catching up w you day by day and that there is simply no more time to waste. Then you promise ok, im gonna cherish the day tomorrow and not waste any second of it, until tomorrow comes and it bounces back to the same cycle of taking time for granted.
Or maybe it's just me.
Could be quite a thinker sometimes, but i bet no one knows.
My mom's been so .. protective(?) (is that the right word, idk man) lately, aiya ..
